KNOW YOUR NooBs
KNOW YOUR NooBs 1. The Girl Scout- Your basic fucking Noob camper. Enjoys flagcamping and watching the grass grow. 2.The Elephant- Noob who camps in the exact same spot every time he spawns. He's like an elephant, following some instinctive knowledge to go to this location and die. 3. The Coward - As the first shot hits him, freaks out and does this bizarre running/jumping/flailing dance that makes him look like a damn demented leprechaun 4. The Sleeper - That motherfucker who goes AFK five minutes in and takes up a spot on your team that could be occupied by a live body. 5. The Blind Man - Can't aim for shit. Any kills he gets will occur when he is aiming for someone else, many of them TKs. This type is often combined with... 6. The Lee Harvey Oswald - That bastard who MUST HAVE the sniper rifle every game. He will camp out over its spawn point because he CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT IT. This is often combined with... 7. The Benedict Arnold - Not just a TKer, but a TKer who kills you for the weapon you're holding, often the sniper rifle. Bitch. 8. The Orator- Spends so much time saying things, impressing us all with his wit, that's he's too goddamn busy to actually do anything but provide cannon fodder for your opponents. 9. The General - Gives orders like he has any idea what the fuck he's doing "Drive Me!", " Get the flag!", and "Go up on the cliff" are popular ones. 10. The JFK Jr. - Basard who grabs the Banshee and then puts on a display of flying that makes you wonder if he can dress himself in the morning. Crashes into hills, ridges, cliffs,hogs, tanks, ghosts, and just about eveyrthing EXCEPT your enemies. 11. The Princess Di's Driver- Cannot go five feet in the hog, usually with you in the backseat, without flipping it over, running it into a fall, or driving it directly over a grenade helpfully provided by your opponents. 12. The Man of Steel- Walks a straight, unvarying path straight to the enemy's base, regardless of any incoming fire or vehicles, because apparently he thinks the bullets will bounce right off him. 13. The Donut - The noob that somehow manages to grab the opponents flag, then gets lost on the way back to the base. It's Blood Gulch, you stupid bastard, not New York City. Quite fucking easy to navigate. 14. The Statue - The noob that somehow manages to grab the opponents flag, then just sits in their base, hoping they'll forget about him. And if they come in, he doesn't move, apparently convinced that his opponents are T-Rexes and can't see him if he doesn't move. and finally, the most satisfying noob of all... 15. The Human Cannonball - The noob that goes flying 100 yards through the air after he meets his well desrved demise. HAHAHAHA if you find it funny you know what to do!!! |
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